being told one thing but feeling another....

Hi. everyone.  Another one of those nights..  I cant post any of this on face book but I can here. I can vent here.  No one but a few of you know who I am.  I miss quite a few of you from here. I don't blog as often as I should anymore. but anyway.

Starting last night a girl that I work with is leaving on maternity leave tomorrow.  she left the fitting room a mess.  She was called out on it from another associate and the support manager was told to his face that this associate is always doing stuff. Well just say that support manager was not happy with this associate.   I feel like I was in the middle of this fight.  I did not want to be.  But I was standing there and kind of supporting associate in what was being said.

Well we got talked to tonight about how our areas should look and we should go above and beyond the expectations of our support.  Well I am opinionated and I have learned to talk when maybe not so good of a time to talk.  I mentioned after an
 assistant manager asked me to do something that the job was made a bit harder the way things are set up.  I told I could do the job but it makes it a bit harder.

I hate fighting for one thing.  I don't like being yelled at ever.  This assistant didn't yell but he sternly told me that I just needed to do my job.  Well I walked away but when I came back to finish my job I was in tears.  Our support asked where I thought that conversation was going.  I tried saying some thing but what was on my mind didn't make it out of my mouth.. or not the way I wanted it.

In between all this our support went and talked to the assistant for me.  the assistant said he wasn't angry at me.  just a miscommunication.  a big one too.  I am weepy lately. Holidays are coming up to fast and they are hard on me..

So that didn't help one bit tonight either esp feeling like a piece of shit.  But anyway  I was told I was appreciated and the work I did tonight went above and beyond our supports expectations. but I still felt crappy for trying to talk to the assistant.  its been several hours since that conversation and I still feel like I am under appreciated even with reassurances that I am doing well and I work hard.

I sometimes feel like I am the only one that does work.  I do my job and then I do breaks for the jewelry and fitting room.  This last Monday I ran both.  both ladies that work those departments called in and I had both sets of keys.  last night was just running an hour behind in getting things done. that does not help the mood one bit.  I sometimes wish I could go back to working part time and making money on the side.  I miss crocheting and getting things done around the house.  I feel like I don't do enough around here either since I work 40 hours a week.

I am babbling at this point of the post.  I better get to bed. Good night all and have wonderful dreams. I start my day back off at 2 P M -11 PM tomorrow.  Lets hope its a better night tomorrow.

spoiled as fudge puckers get....LOL...

HI.!!!! I am so spoiled even 22 years down the road.  Let me start by explaining what happened. Jeff has really psoriasis.  So two years ago he finally got me a set of wedding rings for our 20th anniversary.  I was doing well with them.. I would take them off at night where I wouldn't scratch his sores.... but about a month or so ago I had taken them off and put them on the edge of the table.. one of my recycling bags was under that corner.  Yes you guessed it...…  They got pushed in and I never looked to see what was pushed into the bag. bag got brought out and poof no more rings. I have felt naked with out them lately.

So the last few weeks I have been watching this really pretty set with a mans ring with the engagement and wedding ring at work. making sure it was still there. Well tonight I begged kind of hard... Not real hard actually.. Jeff cant wear the metal but I can  put it on a chain for him or I can just keep it on my chain  with my other few trinkets I have.  So its gonna take some time for it to come back but I can wait patiently... Maybe...LOL.. I am not a patient person....

We went to Spooner WI this last weekend. Bri go to see a friend she met at camp.  Kora got to go on a train ride that wasn't worth its price..  but we dealt with it.. I spent 150 dollars on books and some stuff for the girls. pencils for drawing for them.. then books for jeff and  I.. then we got a couple of puzzles.  Yes we still like our puzzles.. We don't have room for the 6000 pieces anymore.

I still crochet actively.  Always trying to sell my stuff yet. thinking about setting up another Etsy account. Anyway I suppose to better get to bed. There is more but I am to tired to think about it right now.

confused... life is a bitch sometimes..

Morning to all some where in the world.  I have been interrupted in life with some news I don't know how to deal with I guess.. Jeff says I am letting it get to me. Maybe I am but I need to vent and of course cant say what I want on facebook.. I love my dad. I miss my mom terribly. I love my little family I have been blessed with.

Anyway my dads girlfriend posts on my daughters fb page to have me call dad. I think the worst of course. Naww dad is fine.  He's healthy and still working.   But when he was 22 years old he dated this woman and you guessed it.. She got pregnant and he didn't know the baby existed. He found out two to three weeks ago.  She is now 51 years old. My dad is 73 or74.. I have lost track...

I  am feeling jealous slightly.  I am afraid hes going to see that he has biological children and doesn't want me around anymore. He adopted me from my dad when I was three.  I  have been daddies little girl for 42 years now.  I know he has two other children but I have known about them all my life. They don't threaten me in or make me feel insecure like this new person does.

What oh what to do. Dad wants us to go home to MN for x-mas. Waiting for Jeff and I to be able to request days off. Walmart the store manager can clear those days off for me but not my direct assistant. I want to meet this new person but also very nervous.  I have talked to her on facebook messenger. she seems nice enough.

anyway midnight ramblings again. Jeff and I are taking the girls to shell Lake WI this coming weekend.  We get to go on  a train ride to see all the fall colors. I cant wait. Then we are planning on going to the beach to watch the  sun set. Wish I could get my new camera by then but we don't have 300 dollars...LOL...Yes I said three hundred dollars for a camera...  Its an amazing camera. Jeff says I can have it for xmas.

OH my oh my Bri went to her first home coming dance this last Saturday. she looked beautiful. I do not have the pix uploaded to my computer yet.  I only got a couple pix. But that is enough.  She is just like her mama though.. but I don't like makeup and she does.

I guess I need to get to bed. I have to stay up for a bit tomorrow and take bri to school. she only has s one class now since she dropped her all girls choir class.  she felt she wasn't fitting in.  kind of disappointed but I guess I can see where she is coming from. anyway night to my friends who still read. Miss you all...