just midnight ramblings

HI everyone. Its me again.  Not sure whose reading these ramblings anymore. But  I have been thinking.  Maybe too much.  I love my job at Wal-mart for the most part. I have considered trying to move up the food chain. But I look at what I do and ask myself if I could do it. I question everything I do. I don't get along with one of the department managers.  I have to suffer through the two o clock zone with her.  I wanted to talk to her today. but I was busy and just didn't get around to talking and telling her how I felt.

I just feel like I am not good enough at my job some days. Like tonight I got done with my area and was asked to go help in another. I got that area done too before the person doing the area could.  I am not that good. I just move. I love to talk to people and my co workers but I also know when its time to work.

Its also like I have been thinking about setting up another etsy account.  I still try and sell my stuff but I question my abilities there too.  I feel like I failed the first time.  not sure if it was that I wasn't charging enough or charging to much for my stuff.

Bri has went back to school part time if I haven't mentioned this.  We still home school. But Bri wanted to see what school was like so she went for two classes at the local high school.  She is in 9th grade this year and Kora is considered a senior already.  Pretty wow huh?? lol …

I am feeling alone lately.  My dad is busy with his girlfriend he met after my mom passed on. They have been here a few times since but he doesn't call or leave messages..  I miss him dearly.  Life has taken a twist on me.  I am not sure how I like this feeling of being alone. I have my immediate family. I still have the girls and Jeff but its hard knowing my parents aren't here really.  Mom isn't here but I still talk to her. Dad is busy at 73 with his gf.  He has even went back to work part time because he's bored at home.

I suppose I better get to bed.  Thanks for reading even if no one comments anymore.  I miss all my blogging buddies.  I just don't like blogging when Jeff and the girls are up.  This is my time to blab and just be me for a few minutes.  Hope everyone is well.

Dear Mom and Friends

Dear Mom and friends,
I haven't been blogging much since Facebook came along.  I feel like a horrible friend sometimes. I come on when I cant post things about work on Facebook. this is my hidy hole from that world. I have lots to say tonight before I go to bed.

We still home school the girls.  Kora is going to be 18 in January and studying for her GED test.  We couldn't be more proud of  this young lady.  Sh;e still rides her horses and takes her weekly lessons for that. she is thinking about her first horse show in a few short weeks. If not then in a few months when we have a bit more money to get ready and more time.  She can cook some things She freaks out when making bacon. Doesn't like how it splatters.. LOL  Life challenges for things in life.  Small things will come to her. I hope anyway.

Brianna is going to school part time this year.  She has chosen to take art fundamentals and an all girl choir class. If they earn enough money by March they get to go to NY for a concert. I am so proud of this one too. She sings like and angel and can draw like I cant even make a comparison really.. She has some raw talent that is there.  I cant make a stick figure look good and she just looks at something and can replicate it.

Jeff works for a place that builds portable x ray machines for the military.  Its kind a cool really. I have seen one they were working on a few months ago.  He has even designed a few of his own ideas. He thinks hes stupid and could have done better in life. I don't think the world was ready for him.  Or he the world.

I am working at Wal-Mart yet.  I have been there almost 3 1/2 years now.  I listen to people talk all day long. I make no non sense conversation with people  I don't know for eight hours a day. I fold clothes and clean up after people who don't seem to care how the store looks.  I was told about a year a go that I would make either a good support manager or a good Department manager.  I don't believe any of that any more. I will be stuck with what I have and what ever I decide to do with what I have.

We live in a mobile home and have for five years now.  We are behind on our mortgage by almost for months again.  We struggle every year in September I don't know why. Does anyone else have a month or two in the year that seems the hardest to get ahead?

bris 14th bday pix from June 9th 2018. how we all have changed.

she hates her pix taken but a friend took a profresional looking pix of her anyway.

kora and one of her riding lessons and her friend